New Living Room "Curtains"

Have I ever told you that I'm living in the house that I grew up in? It's pretty awesome. I ♥ this house, and I wish that I could live here forever. Probably won't happen, so I'm enjoying it while I can.

One of the challenging, yet oh so fun things about living in the house you grew up in, is learning to see things from a new perspective. It's been fun to reinvent this house. To think outside of how I grew up seeing this house, and learn to make it new.



One of the recent things that I've done to make things fresh, is to put floor to ceiling "curtains" in the living room. We have three huge windows, that let in a lot of light. In an effort to maximize the great windows, and up the drama, I wanted to do them floor to ceiling.

But it had to be easy.

Because I'm lazy. That, and I don't know how to sew.

Yet.



So, this is what I did. I went to the good old Walmart. Land of the cheap.

I bought six $4 twin flat sheets. In white.

We {my mom} used her seam ripper and ripped out the seams along the top of the sheets.

Then, they easily slipped right onto the curtain rods, also from Walmart.

Such a SUPER easy project!! Okay, well aside from drilling the curtain rods into the wall, that is.

And the thing is, they look SOOOO super fabulous!! They don't look like sheets at all.

They bring so much drama to the windows, and make the room look SO much better!

I ♥ them. They look so pretty!

Friend Makin Monday--Super bowl

Welcome back to another week of Friend Makin Monday!

Did you watch the Super bowl?

Even if you didn't watch it, you were probably exposed to it somewhat. I am always with people that watch it, though my eyes are rarely on the screen.

If so, who were you rooting for?
The one team & the other one team :)

If not, what did you do instead?
Read the ads, played on the computer, read a magazine

Where did you watch it/not watch it?

My in-laws house.

What did you eat?
Roast beef, carrots & potatoes. Chocolate cake. Diet Pepsi.

Favorite superbowl commercial?
Tim Tebow Pro-life ad. Volkswagon. E*Trade baby: girlfriend



Least favorite?
Dunno

What did you think of the half time show?
I kept expecting CSI people to walk out. :) I thought it was okay, but also kind of boring. After that stupid stunt Justin Timberlake & Janet Jackson pulled, I think they've pretty much guaranteed that the next several super bowl half time shows will be really boring.


Who do you wish would have been the halftime show?
Lady Gaga, Black Eyed Peas, Miley Cyrus, Rhianna. Basically anyone with a lot of energy that knows how to put on a good show. Lots of lights, lots of dancers, lots of energy.



What about you?

::Boudoir::

I'm not sure if you remember, but a very long while back, I told you I had redone my room, and was going to do a big reveal. Well, I had a hard time getting it finished because of one last project. And one major thing after another, and here I am months later, just finishing the very last thing. So now I present to you....

A tour of the boudoir.

{Huge basket to hold all of our pillows--$2 at a yard sale}

{Old trunk dated back to the 1930's---yard sale, $15}

{Yes, it's missing a drawer pull. I need to find it}

{One of my favorite pieces---thrift store, $.50. I use it to hold my overnight lip treatment}

{Not digging this set up. Haven't gotten it right. I have 2 pretty mirrors that go with this dresser. I'm thinking of painting them white & using them again. I also had a real pretty burlap bulletin board that I used in my Pottery Barn inspired project.}

It's not perfect. But it's comfy. And it's cozy. And it's our sanctuary.

I have a couple more projects that I'm going to do, so I'll show you when I finish them.




This is the other version of our bed, which I happen to like better. :) But soooomeone got into some shenanigans & spilled water all over that one, and then wrote on it with a marker, so it's off to the cleaners.

♥ You make all things new ♥

I just wanted to take a moment for all of the wonderful response to my very real, very raw, very vulnerable post the other day.

In full disclosure, that post was written as a response, in my own ♥ and life, to a very difficult situation that I was faced with. Though it was said to have been brought to me in love, it was very hurtful. While it may have started out with those intentions, it did not end that way.

BUT, what is intended for bad {or not} God can use to speak to us. To make us stronger.

And that is EXACTLY what has happened for me.

God has been working a lot in my heart & personal life.

Changing me.

And I feel it.

Out of this entire situation, it has created this:

Thank you, God, for creating a situation that causes me to respond to what you are doing in my ♥ by having to defend it, recognize it, claim it. Good, bad, hot mess, good, mess, thank you for making ME. ♥

My status update after processing, writing, talking to a dear friend, and listening to that still small voice.


This song just about sums up my life right now:




Brooke Fraser
Shadow Feet

Walking,stumbling on these shadowfeet
toward home,a land that i've never seen
I am changing: less and less asleep
made of different stuff than when i began
and i have sensed it all along
fast approaching is the day

[CHORUS]
when the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
when the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you

Theres distraction buzzing in my head
saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
but I've heard rumours of true reality
whispers of a well-lit way

[CHORUS]

You make all things new

[CHORUS]

[CHORUS 2]
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."

And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." Also he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."

Revelation 21:1-5

A message in the comments of that post, from my dear friend, Jen from With Grace & Lace.

{Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to go & delete some words that have no place in my life.}

Be careful, little mouth, what you say.

In ♥ with this farmhouse

♥ ♥ ♥

I'm completely in love with this farmhouse featured in Country Living. I love it all.

I love all of the whites. The textures. Chippy. Worn. Old. New.

I could just sit & stare all day.
And study all of the many lovely details.
I just ♥ it all.

♥

♥

♥

♥

♥

♥

♥

♥

♥

♥

♥ ♥ ♥

**All photo credits from Country Living

♥Drab to even more fab♥

I decided to paint the mirror black. I ♥ how it looks!

I ♥ the detail on the bottom. I hardly ever noticed it when it was brown.

I also have one more thing that I'm going to do here. Stay tuned! :)

If you remember, this is what the before looked like:





This post has been submitted to:

My authentic self

Bear with me on this one. This is my thoughts, frustrations: my heart meeting the tablet.

I am a complex person. Yet I am simple.

I am a very positive person. Yet I am negative by nature.

I am a writer. I do not speak eloquently.

I am confident. I am terribly insecure.

I am a friend. I am an enemy.

I am a perfectionist. I am lazy.


A lot of things in my life contradict themselves. A lot. It is just who I am. But I am authentic.

I am real.

I am my most authentic self on this blog. When I write.


I have had a lot of things going on my life lately. And when I say my life, I mean with me. My actual life is pretty boring. Pretty mundane. Pretty unexciting.

I have inner turmoil. A constant battle.

Lately, it has been culminating. On the verge of exploding. I'm not sure where. Onto paper. Into the open sky, as I cry out for relief. Towards a friend. A pet. A something. Good or bad. I don't really know. I'm not sure when or where, but I feel something building inside of me.

I wrestle. Inner turmoil.

Personalities clashing.

Confidence fighting insecurity.
Love fighting hate.
Peace fighting riot.
Joy fighting sadness.
Positivity fighting negativity.

Back & forth they struggle.

It inhibits me.

I want desperately for new friends, new connections in my life. But my fear & insecurity stifle.

I cannot just be around people. I fumble around, like I'm on trial.

When I am alone, I feel relief.

When I am at home, with a person, with a place, I am me.

When I am with most people, I create a facade.

Most of the people that think they know me the best, don't seem to know me at all. They think I am not "me" on my blog. That hurts. Because it is here, that I am the most "me".

I am free.

I am inhibited.

I feel loved unconditionally. Because if I am not, you don't say it. It is not written on your face. You just click away from me. And I am none the wiser.

I don't feel your judgement.

I don't feel your awkwardness to my grief. You either comfort me, or you don't. And I am none the wiser if you don't.

If you are in front of me, I can feel you. I can feel you looking at me with pity. I can see you squirm when I talk about my struggles. I can feel the silence.

When I am in the presence of people, I squirm. I wonder what they think about me. I think about a comment I said, for days. Sometimes weeks. And I wonder what you think of me.

I think of specific instances over, and over, and over again. I fret & stress about things that I have said that I wish I could take back. Things that made me feel stupid. Things that I said to fill a gap, one of the many moments where I fear I may crawl out of my skin because I feel under a spotlight. Things that I said, but didn't mean they way they came out. Things that I wish I would, or could say, but don't have the courage.

When I am with my family, extended, I feel written off. I don't feel validated. I don't always feel treasured. I feel that my thoughts & feelings are written off, because they are not like yours. I don't fit into your mold.

I am me. I am not you.

Any joke that has been said. Any insult made into play. They are embedded into my memory. And they are not a joke. The labels you have made for me, in jest or in truth, I see them on my soul. I sometimes find the power to scratch them out, but they are still written.

I am a very internal person. I am very analytical. I take it all in. Everything. Sights, sounds, smells, thoughts, words, feelings. I internalize everything.



This is me. This is who I am when I am my authentic self.

I am important. I am worthy. I am a child of God. And I am made in His image.

My quirks. My downfalls. My strengths. My weaknesses.

HE loves me, even still. He does not tell me to figure out whatever the heck made me the new Amber I became on September 15, 2008. And then change it back.

I am forever changed.

I will NEVER be the same.

My experiences have made me WHO I am today.

Good, bad, ugly.

They're still being sorted and processed.

So have a little grace.

You don't have to fix me.

But you also don't have the position to tell me who I should be, what I should say or not say, how I should grieve. You don't have the position to call me what you have called me.

The people that read this blog, they choose to. If someone doesn't like it, they don't stick around.

When I survey in my mind, I think you stick around because I am honest. Because I am real. Because I don't pretend.

Because I am my authentic self. And for those of you that accept me for who I genuinely am, I thank you. And I love you for that.

I am here to be me. I am here to be real. I am here to be used.

Lord, you know my heart. You know me inside and out. You know me beyond the insecurity. You know me beyond what is presented. You know that this is my authentic self. And you know the person that I wish I could be all the time. YOU search my heart. YOU correct me where I need to be corrected. YOU light the path before me. And when I stray, will YOU & YOU alone place me where I need to be. I know that lately, I am a hot mess. I am fickle. You know the desires of my heart, even when I swear them off. You know my heart, even when I pretend to be strong. You know that I smile in faith. You know that I love in faith. And you know that I hope in faith. I am not perfect. I am not even always pleasant. But you forgive me. And I lay my life down at your feet. Whatever I am, I want it to be pleasing to you. And I want it to glorify you. Please mold my mess into something that you can use. Take all that I am, and all that I have been through, and let it glorify you. I want to be a slave to my experiences. I want you to use them in ANY & every opportunity that you can. I am willing to be an open book. A hot mess. If it is helps someone else, than I will not conform to what makes others comfortable. I will continue to live my life in transparency, showing all of my flaws, all of my feelings, good or bad, that you may receive the glory. And you know that it isn't always easy for me. It would be nice to pretend sometimes. But ultimately, I know that is not who you have called me to be. And I know that THAT is the new me. This is who you are making me to be. Please help me to be unashamed. Of myself. Of you. In my life, and in this blog. I want to be pleasing to you. YOU know my heart. And for that, I am so thankful.

♥Drab to Fab Entry Buffet♥

I have this beautiful buffet that my aunt gave me. For free. Usually once a year, she calls me to come over & go through all of her 'junk'. Oh my gosh, I know. Hate me. I always say I'm going to do a post on all of the amazing furniture & decor she passes my way. And I'm not exaggerating one bit when I tell you that her house looks like a Pottery Barn magazine. You.would.flip. She's amazing.



Anyway, she gave me this buffet a couple years ago when we were newly married. Then I was newly pregnant. Then I had a new baby. I was never quite decided on what I wanted to do with it: paint it white, black, take out the middle drawer & add baskets. I was undecided. And then I just got so used to it that it blended into the background. I didn't notice how unloved it was.

Last night, while sitting in the living room, I just decided that I would go for it and paint it white. It was time. It need some lovin.

So this morning, first thing, I started in on it.

It went from this:



to this:


She's so beautiful now. I'm going to take more pictures tomorrow in the daylight. It will look so pretty in the natural light.

Maybe you can lend me your advice. Should I paint the mirror black?
I'm also going to make a cute glitter garland banner that says 'home' to string across the mirror. I'll show it all put together when I'm finished.

♥ ♥ ♥


Thanks for stopping by!!


I'm linking up to

Friend Makin Monday--♥Inspiration♥

Welcome back to another week of Friend Makin Monday!

This week I was wondering:

What is inspiring you right now?


For me, it's:

Lots of pretty white decor with lots of color mixed in

The Beautiful Life

Dreamy Whites

Meg Duerksen: Whatever

White, chippy, shabby chic pieces

Meg Duerksen: Whatever

The idea of refashioning old clothes to make them current/new: Wanting to add ruffles to the bottoms of Saylor's jeans, since she's growing taller, but still just as thin. Also wanting to remake some of Maddie's clothes, add embellishments to both girls' clothes & remake some of my own. Especially since I'm *finally* losing some weight!

The wonderful Jen @ Tatertots & Jello

The perfect weather: warm sunshine, crisp air, chilly nights, & the smell of freshly cut grass. All of these things whisper to me that spring is on it's way.


Clean eating: Feeling super healthy & dropping some pounds along the way

Shredding: All of you faithful shredders!! I hope you will be happy to know that I am starting again today!! Thanks for inspiring me again!


Friends: Having dinner with 2 of my besties this Tuesday night. You know those friends that you only see a few times per year, yet it seems like no time has gone by? Ya, those. And lots of fun friend dates in the works.


Having all of you join in each week!!

Dopple-wha??

If you're on Facebook, I'm sure you've seen those stupid clever little memes going around each week. Mostly in secret, so as to 'throw off the men to our clever little games'. It's actually really annoying to me, but this week's 'out in the open' meme seemed kind of fun.

I decided to join in.

I'm not going to go all "follow the rules" and post it as my profile pic, because that's not what I do. I don't usually follow the rules.

Okay, that's a lie. I mostly follow the rules.

You know, the ones that are like "Thou shalt not murder". I follow those.

But I love to bend all the small ones. Any and all. Like, memes on Facebook for instance. And recipes. And such. Especially memes on Facebook.

So I went all rebel-like and didn't post it as my profile pic.

Livin on the edge, I am.

Well, first I posted something that went a little like this:

"So, I keep wondering---who would you say my celebrity look alike is?"

Then, for good measure, I added:

"If you say Winnie Cooper, I'm used to it. But you better not say Wednesday Adams or Cristina Ricci, because I may have to slap you."



Of course, my friend Augi said Cristina Ricci. FYI--Do NOT go looking up images of her on Yahoo! because you *will* get an eye full.

Then, I started getting suggestions.

Like her:


And her:



Then I decided to use the site Myheritage.com to figure out who they say I look like. These are my results:

{Okay, this is a weird picture of me, and a little Cristina Ricci}

Then, folks, I think we had a winner:

What do you think?

By the way, Augi nailed it when he said Tahner's celebrity look alike was:


He's pretty good at this, dontcha think??

Today I...

Today I...got the house mostly picked up by 8:30 am

Today I...actually got my shower before 9 am

Today I...was going to take Saylor to a toddler story time at the library, but we skipped it
because she wanted to 'tay home'. <---As always!!

Today I...basically had the washer & dryer going all day long.

Today I...spent a quiet, productive day at home with Saylor.

Today I...watched Dora, drew lots of pictures, played lots of games with my baby.

Today I...spray painted a few projects.

Today I...spent some quiet moments outside, working in the sun, watering our tree for
Ashten.

Today I...pet our sweet kitty out in the sunshine

Today I...ate clean.

Today I...worked in Maddie's room, cleaning, organizing, putting on her new bedding.

Today I...made my daughter happy by letting her have a sleepover.

Today I...sacrificed my MUCH needed girls night out with my bestie in order for said sleepover to happen.

Today I...regretted that decision when my daughter started acting out of character & like a total brat.

Today I...cried.

Today I...spent lots of time in deep thought, contemplating my life.

Today I...really enjoyed my Diet Pepsi.

Tomorrow is...another day.

Clean Eating

The other day while on Facebook, I saw a friend post how about how great he was feeling with his new lifestyle and clean eating.

Being the every curious person, I quickly googled it. On Yahoo!

Clean eating is basically eating the foods that our bodies function best on. Eating the way that we were created to eat. Naturally.

Fresh fruits & vegetables
Lean proteins
Nuts
Whole grains

It's about cutting back on things that are not really even considered food: packaged, dried, added preservatives, added sugar, lists of things that we cannot even pronounce.

Cutting out fast food, convenience food; junk food.

After a little research that night, I decided to start incorporating it into our lives RIGHT away. I'd already been planning to overhaul our pantries & refrigerator and give the girls more healthy snack choices. Discovering this eating lifestyle, along with all of the richness of information out there made it an easy choice.

Day one I starting feeling like a new person.

I'm not super strict with it.

I still drink Diet soda. I just cut way back.

I still had a little pizza when we went out, but I ate way more salad.

After only 3 days, I've lost 3 pounds.

And the ironic thing was I wasn't even considering weight. I just wanted to eat healthier. And feed my family healthier choices. We already eat lean meat, mostly chicken & ground turkey. We already eat whole wheat pasta. We eat lots of vegetables.

It's about expanding that into other areas.

Some changes I've made:

Cut out sugary cereals
Switched whole grain white {a load of whooie} for actual whole wheat
Incorporating LOTS more vegetables, more variety
More olive oil
Drinking more water
Less sugar
Natural Peanut Butter
More salads
Fresh fruit as snacks {and even dessert!}
No sugary drinks for the girls
More fruit cups & healthy choices for school lunches
Finding lots & lots & lots of yummy recipes to try

I really encourage you to check out these websites below. There are SO many advantages to this kind of lifestyle. I, for one, don't want to raise my girls to be unhealthy adults with poor nutrition and eating habits. We, as a family and our nation, eat out entirely too much. Entirely. The portion sizes are way too big. The nutritional content is way to low. The stuff that we are eating, most times cannot even be classified as food. THAT is very sad. And we are putting it into our bodies. And feeding it to our children!! This has got to stop.

It's going to be a definite challenge. Our family is used to eating fast food on Friday nights, and usually Saturday for lunch. Every Sunday after church, a huge group of us go to our favorite pizza place, Me-N-Ed's. That is a lot of eating out. And Saylor & I are used to eating out a couple times during the week to play with friends & get out of the house. We haven't been doing that much in the last month or two, so that part won't be as hard. But I know the weekend will be a definite challenge. We probably won't cut it out of our lives entirely, but I will make sure that when we do eat it, we are choosing the healthiest options.

I posted a couple recipes over at my food blog, if you're interested. You may want to follow along there, because I'm going to be posting a lot more clean eating recipes.

Here are the websites that I have found most useful:

The Eat Clean Diet
{follow them on Facebook!!}

Clean Eating Online
{follow them on Facebook!!}

Clean Eating Magazine

eHow: How to eat clean

♥ Part time lovah ♥

It's no secret that teachers don't get paid enough. I think everyone knows that. What you might not know, is that my loving, hardworking husband, is a teacher. A high school geometry/algebra/consumers math teacher. Blech. I know. God bless him. He is one of the hardest working men I know. And I am SO blessed to have so many hardworking men in my life. My father, grandfather, father in law, brother, among other relatives. And obviously hubby.

Hard.working.men.

Anyway, Tahner's a hardworking, underpaid teacher.

I am a stay at home mother.

And while I have a college degree, I choose to stay at home. That is a sacrifice that we have chosen to make. {Which is not hard for me, because I swear I have anxiety when it comes to working, and that's not just my overdramatic self talking}. But it would be so, so, so nice to have a little more comfort & security when dealing with life's expenses.

I almost took a job last month. It was a good job. Working for a church {which I already do, more on that in a min}, part time, good pay. We waited a little too long trying to decide if that's what would be best for our family, and the position was quickly filled. It wouldn't be worth it when you factor in childcare anyway.

I ♥ staying at home with my girls. My mom stayed at home with us, while working from home a little. I want to be there for my girls. And if when I am blessed with more children, I want to be able to stay home with them too.

We've gone back & forth a little more about me getting a job. Saylor will hopefully be going into preschool in the fall, and that would make an ideal situation for a part time job. BUT, I'm hoping & praying to be pregnant before then. And hopefully far along.

Sooooo, I don't really want to start working outside the home.

That, and hubby is a teacher, so he's off for the summer. What kind of job can you get that you're off for the entire summer? Except for a teacher? lol. So, ya. I don't want to be working while Tahner & Maddie are off for the entire summer.

Oh ya, back to the church. I do work part time for the church. And when I say part time, I mean, really part time. One day a week. For like 2 hours. I do some bookkeeping. So I do bring in a little money. :)

All of that mumbo jumbo to say that I need you to help me brainstorm.

I want you to help me figure out something that I can do from home.

Know of any legit work-from-home jobs?

I've been thinking about trying to find a crafty side business that I can do from home.

I wanted to start an Etsy shop & do digital photo cards: birth announcements, invitations, Christmas cards, etc, etc. And since I recently uploaded Photoshop CS3 onto my laptop and everything. I'm sure I just need more practice, but I am SOOO not there. Maybe I should take a class, but Photoshop is hard in my opinion!! I know, I know, everything takes practice.

I also want to learn to sew. I've been wanting to for about 3 years. Maybe I should take a class for that too? I dunno. I'm about to just bust out my sewing machine and try to teach myself. I'll let you know if I do. I have visions of making super cute baby stuff like onesie dresses, chenille burp cloths, chenille bibs {I have tons cut out!! lol}, and other really cute baby stuff. If for no other reason, I want to learn to make all of these things for my own children. I think my first project will be to add cute little ruffles to the bottom of Saylor's jeans since she's growing taller, but still just as thin. That way she can get a little more use out of all of her jeans. :)

Another thought was to add advertising slots on my blog. Ha! Sometimes I feel like this blog is just a mish mash of madness. Some house stuff, some funny, some baby stuff, lots of whining, some healthy living, definitely cute kids. Which I should really show more often, you know. I don't think that anyone would really find a desire to advertise anything on my blog. lol

So, what are your thoughts? Anyone wanna teach me to make super fabulous baby & child stuff? Wanna sprinkle some of your creative pixie dust over me? Anything?

Because sometimes the sacrifices we make to be a stay at home make life stressful.

I would just love to feel more financially secure. I'd place bets on the fact that I am NOT alone in this.

And a little shout out to all of you work outside the home moms {because we're ALL working moms}. I give you mad props because I know that your life is most likely non stop. I cannot imagine working a full day and then having to come home and run a home. Props to you.

And all of you other stay at home mamas of course. :)

*That* person

Um, what kind of person starts a support group, makes a cute little button, generates a bunch of hype, even adds a list on the sidebar to their blog for something **cough30DayShredcough**, and then, um, fizzles??


I'm *that* person.



I had to take a few days off, per doctor's advisement, since we are trying to get pregnant, and um, those few days turned into a week. I had to take off the week before my period, just in case, and then I was 3 days late.

And then, um, that was last Saturday that I started.

Cough.

Well, who wants to do lunges, and planks, and jumping jacks when you're well....you know.

And now I just have NO excuse whatsoever.

I just plain DON'T want to do it!!

I was really hoping that I'd be pregnant so I'd have an excuse to not do it anymore. For shame. I know.

And now, I'm kind of mad at my body for not being pregnant.

I was so into it. Loving how it made me feel. Feeling proud of myself. Getting in shape, even though I hadn't lost a pound, really. I kept thinking, after just 2 weeks, I cannot imagine not exercising everyday.

Well, it's pretty easy, actually. You just don't. And while you feel guilty, it's pretty easy to not work out. Imagine that.


Sooooooo, I need your motivation!! Please!! Pass it my way. Tell me something that is going to get my butt in gear again. What day are you on?? How are you doing? How much have you lost?

I think I'll probably get back into the groove, but I may start on something else first. Like just walking. Or Turbo Jam. Or just some of the isolated moves from The Shred. To regain some motivation.

I'm going to try & make myself do The Shred before The Biggest Loser comes on tonight, and see if that helps.

This all leads me to focus on one of my biggest flaws, not seeing things through to the end. Not finishing what I've started. Ugh. I see an opportunity for improvement. :)

Motivation please!!

Friend Makin Monday--My Daybook **updated**

Welcome to another week of Friend Makin Monday!!!

We're so glad that you're here! Make yourself at home, grab a cup of something warm, and have fun getting to know eachother.

And um, I promise I'm going to do better at making my rounds. I've been really bad lately, and I feel awful! I promise I'm going to do better!!

This week, I figured we could do this cute little meme that happens every Monday on certain blogs. I've done it before, and it's pretty fun. :)




The Simple Woman's Daybook

Outside my window... A crisp cool morning, alternating between sunny & grey. More sunny please. Green fields. Our wood pile in the yard is getting smaller & our stack by the house is getting bigger.

I am thinking.... that I love my lazy, quiet mornings. Breakfast, fire, computer with lots of breaks for chores mixed in.

I am thankful... for my family. I had a day dream yesterday while I was getting ready for church & Tahner & the girls had left early for doughnuts & worship practice. What if something happened to my family?? I broke down into tears while drying my hair. And I thought long & hard about my family & our relationships. I want to live my life knowing that I was the BEST wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, etc that I can be. And I'm going to live everyday like it's my last. {Pretty deep for routine blow drying}

I am praying... for my family. For a new baby, in God's timing. For this blog & all of you.

I am reading... all of your blogs. A couple favorite magazines. Not much else.

I am creating... a more colorful, happy home.

From the kitchen... a running dishwasher. For dinner, something yummy & fitting for our new CLEAN eating plan.

Around the house... A roaring fire, Caillou on the tv {Saylor just woke up}, lots of stuff piled by the door for our day of errands.

One of my favorite things... Blueberry Frosted Mini Wheats

A few plans for the rest of the week... finish a bunch of projects. Curtains, something red, a room makeover for Maddie with a few projects. Showing off my new desk nook. Gathering more recipes & info for our clean eating plan. Possibly switching grocery stores from Food Maxx to Fresh&Easy and Trader Joes. {Thanks Kara for telling me T.J. was in Clovis!!!! So excited!!}

Your Hands...

Today is January 21, 2010. {Stupid} aunt flo is supposed to be here. Today. So far, nada. She probably dares not knock on this door.

I thought I didn't even want to try for this month. I was on a roll and so excited about doing The 30 Day Shred. I still am{ish}. I was happy with the idea of waiting so that I could finish my goal, get into better shape, and hopefully lose some weight.

When last week came & I started to feel 'off', and I made the decision to put everything on hold, I started to feel a glimmer in my spirit. Deep down in my soul. And then I started feeling more symptoms. And signs. I'm still feeling them. But three negative tests have kind of put a damper on my spirits. I didn't know I would be this affected. I mean, the plan was to not even try for this month. {I've been really off for the past few months, and even when I'm 'supposed' to be ovulating, I see the signs of that later, so I'm not sure when I'm truly ovulating}.

Anyhow, I feel devastated.

Especially when I was at Target yesterday & I found myself in this aisle:






I've been really discouraged today. Just down.

And add to that, I still feel off. I'm still tired. I'm still having dizzy spells, and what I can only describe as 'short circuits'. It's like little black outs. So, off to the Dr. I go next week. Maybe it's blood sugar issues. Maybe it's thyroid issues. Whatever it is, I just want it to go away.

In the meantime, I know I'm a drag. I have many things to be thankful for. Yes, I am very thankful for the 2 girls that I do have. Yes, I know that it's God's plan & timing. Yes, I know all of these things.

It's just one thing to KNOW something, and another thing to just allow yourself to just feel what you're feeling. And so, right now, I'm choosing to feel what I feel.

And that is sadness.

I will be okay. I will get over it. I will trust in God's plan for our lives & His timing.

This song helps me to do that:




Your Hands--JJ Heller
I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands


One or two more days, and then I'll be back to mentally cursing Jillian during my workouts.

Longing...

I'm deeply longing for God to bless us with a child right now. Deeply.

For some reason, I'm affected tonight. I guess it comes & it goes; it ebbs & it flows. Right now, the waves are crashing around me.

The 30 Day Shred--holding

Wow, 2 posts in one day?? Actually, technically 3, b/c I posted FMM after midnight last night.

I was planning to post this tomorrow, but I'm feeling SO guilty with not letting you guys know what's up with me. I don't want you to think that I'm slacking.

You might not even have noticed. But if you look over to the right sidebar, you'll see that the last day I did the Shred was January 14. That was last Thursday. This is why:

I'm a 30 Day Shredder holding.

On Friday I wasn't feeling very well. Like, literally could not get going. If you ask Kenlie, I was all excited b/c it was 8:33 Friday morning and I was going to get my Shred on before 9am, just like she'd done. As I tried to motivate myself to get up & go, I could NOT keep my eyes open. Even though I've been getting enough sleep, my energy is so low. And it comes on all of a sudden.

::Laying on the floor doing the ab exercises. I close my eyes, and could literally fall asleep WHILE DOING the exercises.

::While holding & kissing my nephew Chase on Saturday, I closed my eyes, and had the hardest time opening them.

::While chopping carrots a couple hours ago, I became very tired and got all blurry.

It's so weird. Maybe low blood sugar? I dunno. It kind of makes sense because it often happens in the morning or a few hours after I've eaten. Dunno.

Anyway, I didn't do the Shred that morning and the rest of my day was BU-SY.

Saturday, we had a birthday party for my grandpa's 80th birthday. We were there from 11 am to 11:30 pm. Uh huh. Needless to say, I was just too wiped out.

Sunday, I got the flu. Ugh!! I was getting frustrated because I felt like I was letting myself down & not following through with my commitment.

In the back of my head, and deep down in my heart, I started becoming more aware. As you all know, we're trying to get pregnant. Every month. This month, I selfishly decided that I didn't want to try this month because I wanted this month to commit to the 30 Day Shred, for vain reasons. I want to lose weight. I want to get skinnier. I also want to get healthy, but you know.

On Saturday I started noticing a few things. It could all be totally in my head, but you never know. I know I'm being vague. Hopefully you get the point.

It dawned on me that maybe I should hold off a few days until I'm in the clear {or not!!!!}. And if I end up pregnant this month, I would obviously be overjoyed.

I just cannot handle the idea of me pushing myself just to be skinny and possibly putting a baby in danger. I would never be able to forgive myself.

I called the OB this afternoon, just to be sure I was doing the right thing. Then, if they approved the workout, I would keep going. They said that my heart rate should not get above 140. While I haven't taken my heart rate during the exercise {maybe a couple of you could do it for me}, I googled it, and most people said theirs was about 175, some higher. This is just WAY too high to risk it.

So, I hope you all understand! I'm not slacking on purpose! I promise. {Although the break is sort of welcome because my natural reaction is to be lazy, lol}.

Keep up with the good work!!

And if you are trying to conceive, please take a break the week before you are set to menstruate, just to be safe.

Happy Shredding!!!

Dear Hobby Lobby....

Dear Hobby Lobby: Mr. & Mrs. David Green;

I love your store. I mean, I am in ♥ with your store. And being in love with a store that you have been in one time, shows pure adoration. ONE time. Solo uno. Once.

Oh, I wish it were many, many more times. If I had the choice, I'd probably be in there like several times per week. If my husband had his choice {& if he knew I was writing this}, he'd either:

1} Beg me not to write it or
2} Write his own letter begging for the opposite

Because what I'm asking is this:

Can you please, please, pretty please bring your stores to the West Coast?? Like, specifically, Clovis California!?

I mean, whether you realize it or not, we've actually met before. In Texas. Remember? Because you are super duper good friends with my grandparents, the Cooleys'. I apologize because I was young, and naive, and didn't know who you were. If I would have known then what I know now, I would have begged you to bring your stores out this way.

And hey, if you do, you could come & visit with your friends, check on your stores, and use it as a write off. :)

Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaasee??

It really is torture to hear all of my blog friends talk about going to "Hob Lob" for all of their crafting needs. I wanna go to Hob Lob for all of MY crafting needs too!!

Plleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease??

I guess I'll quit begging now. Because I mean, whatever, it's totally up to you. Whatevs. You're a smart guy & all. I'm sure you know whether you want to expand to the West Coast. You've come as far as Utah though, it's not *that* much further. Whatevs.




Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssee???


I could be your spokesperson!!!

Friend Makin Mondays---Projects

With all of the tragedy from the earthquake in Haiti last week, the natural instinct is to make this Friend Makin Monday related to that. Because it is hard to blog about crafting, projects, what kind of peanut butter you use, your efficient cleaning methods, cute shoes, and the like when such a horrible disaster has just occurred.

It is a horrible, tragedy.

I'm sure that it has been weighing heavily on all of your hearts, as it has mine. That is why I am fighting that natural reaction, and deciding to go ahead with something of a lighter topic.
Sometimes we need to think about lighter things in order to cope with so much sadness.

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With the new year here, and resolutions & organizational goals in full force, what are some of the projects on your list? Are you working on any specific projects around the house, such as purging, organizing, craft projects, home improvement projects? Share with us! {And hopefully you'll be sharing the before & afters on your blogs, so we know what we can tune in for!!}


::Here's my list::

1}. Curtains for our 3 huge living room windows

2}. Repainting a few of our furniture pieces, specifically dressers, b/c someone has taken up locating every hidden marker & drawing masterpieces on anything she can get set her sights on.

3}. Can you even see this? If so, purging & organizing each room & drawer.

4}. Making super cheap art pieces for above the 3 windows in the living room.


5}. Redecorating Maddie's room, including a really cool Pottery Barn inspired project that I'm in the middle of.


6}. Being intentional with bringing more color & fun into our house & lives.



Just after the new year, I was introduced to a super duper, lovely, amazing blog called 'Whatever' by Meg Deurksen. I am in ♥ with her blog! I love looking at all of the bright, fun colors that she uses in her home. It is so inspiring to me.

The most amazing thing that drew me into her blog was the scripture below. I had been thinking a lot about that scripture as I entered the new year, and decided to use it as a focus scripture for this year {along with a couple others}. So when I came to her blog, and I saw that scripture, and all the wonderful color, inspiration, and warmness in her family, I fell in bloggy ♥. You should go check out the amazingness. Ya, I just made that word up.

{Meg's picture}

{Oh ya, and one more really fun project using this color!!}

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What about you??

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